A Lesson in Friendship

Posted by- Sheldon Redditt on 09/17/2014

I dedicate this post to James Wilson and Sara Garrison for showing me what true friendship really means, by walking it every day.

Growing up, I never really felt that I needed a very close friend. I was always a very private person and didn't want anyone to know my innermost thoughts. I thought, the less one knew about you, the less they would have to use against you, to hurt you. I thought that I could go through life, not really needing anyone. Of course, I had acquaintances and friends in high school, but even then, I never bared all to anyone. I truly thought I would go through life that way, thinking the less you knew about me, the better it was. I always had trust issues, but was always an excellent listener and strangely, people have always felt compelled to share their deepest truths with me!  Even when I attempted to shy away from listening.  The more people shared, the more sure I was that I should never let anyone completely in. After all, most of their truths were about how someone close to them had hurt them in some way or another.

Fast forward a decade or so, when I met my, now wife. Throughout our friendship, I recall my wife, Amy, talking about her best friend, Sara. She would brag, Sara is this, Sara is that and how much Sara had it together. It used to get on my nerves! But, when I met Sara for the first time, I could see why Amy thought she was so special. It wasn't that she talked a lot, like Amy does. (Lol. Just joking! You know, I love you, Amy) Or, Lord knows that friendship would have never worked. I thought that Sara's personality was a lot like mine. She was quiet, observant and I got the sense that she was busy sizing me up to see if I was good enough for her best friend. I knew she was genuine. I love the relationship they have because they can talk to each other about anything without judging. And the most amazing thing I observed over the years was that when anything that was significant in my wife's life happened, no matter how big or small, Sara was her biggest cheerleader. I found that she was always as happy for Amy, as she would have been for herself. And Amy reciprocated all of those things for Sara. I was in awe because I didn't think it was possible for true friendship to really exist on that level.

My observations of the two of them caused me to rethink my stance and boy am I grateful for that. My best friend, James Wilson, showed up in my life 13 years ago. At first, I didn't think I was going to like him. He was loud and a jokester, my polar opposite. But once we got to know each other, I found that he had an insight that was intriguing. No matter the subject, he always viewed things from multiple perspectives.  Thankfully, he has taught me to do the same. And he is NEVER afraid to tell me when he thinks I am wrong, despite knowing it will make me so mad and I might not talk to him for awhile. He was the one that sat down with me and told me that I needed to get my head out of my behind and marry Amy before I lose her. I was convinced I'd never marry again due to past hurts and mistakes, but my true friend lit a fire under me and helped me give myself the life I'd always imagined. I thank God every day for placing him in my life at what was probably the lowest period of my life. He has been a true friend and I love him like a brother.

I think it's truly unfortunate that some people go through their whole life without a Sara or a James, to not have anyone with whom they can bare their soul. Although, both of our friends are hundreds of miles away, a simple phone call can always make the world feel brighter when life gets tough. I'm thankful to Amy and Sara for walking in true friendship and showing me what it looks like. And I'm grateful for the day when James and I rode together in his silver beat up Cadillac listening to the washed up rapper E-40. I told him he was too old to listen to rap music and we've been friends ever since! 

I pray that each one of you will find that person to bring into your life and if you already have them, call them up today and tell them how grateful you are that you found them and they are a part of your life. They say in life you're lucky to find one true friend. I am so grateful and blessed to have found that one. This my truth. What's yours?