A Little Positive Light In An Often Dark World

Posted by ~ Sheldon Redditt on 12/17/2014

I dedicate this post to my wife, Amy and my daughter, Hayden.  I will continue to do everything in my power to help you both continue to LIVE in this world and NEVER just exist!

I wanted to do something a little different today in light of all of the negative events happening in the world as of late.  They say you put out that which you wish to get back.  So, this is my positivity, my light and inspiration for the day.  Just over a year ago my wife was interviewed for an article for a website, called Everest, that is intended to encourage and inspire people to move toward their dreams and goals.  I was in awe that of all their subscribers, they were interested enough in her dream of broadening our daughters horizons to interview her.  I am very proud of her and what we are accomplishing with Hayden.  I hope you'll enjoy the article.

Everest Interview ~ by Cassie Peretore

Amy Redditt knows that her Everest is worth all the effort when she sees the smile and excitement in her two-year-old daughter Hayden’s eyes. Amy dreams of giving Hayden a life full of truly enriching experiences that will help to shape her into an adventurous, compassionate, and open-minded human being. An enriched life doesn’t require a passport full of exotic destination stamps or a Rolodex full of big names; to Amy, a meaningful life is being open to other cultures and ways of life, learning about other people’s journeys, and finding happiness through experiences. She wants Hayden to see all fifty states before she turns eighteen (she’s already been to fourteen!), figure out what she is passionate about, take up Spanish, and appreciate art and music. These are the kinds of enriching experiences that shape a person into a dreamer and an achiever, and this is what Amy wants for Hayden.

Amy has met a lot of amazing people in her life, but many of these people were from other parts of the country and world; Amy is cognizant of the wonders that diverse people and cultures can offer. Amy grew up in Memphis, Tennessee where “many people didn’t dream much bigger than their own backyard.” She wants Hayden to always dream bigger than the backyard; she is showing her daughter how to appreciate what’s beyond that fence. She and her husband take every chance they get to expose Hayden to her world. Each month they make sure they travel, whether it is just to a hotel a few towns over or to Puerto Rico. Regardless of where they’re going, they go somewhere, they meet someone, and they learn something.

Amy dreams that Hayden will be willing to listen to and understand different people as a result of these enriching experiences. She hopes that when Hayden finds people who have not been fortunate enough to have the experiences that she has, she will reach out to them and teach them what she has learned. Amy is giving Hayden a life of inspirational experiences in the hopes that she will give back and pass on the lessons of these experiences to others. And one day, when Hayden is old enough to think that her parents are cool again, she’ll thank them for teaching her to live this way.

Spanking vs. No Spanking

Posted by~ Sheldon Redditt on 11/15/2014

When I was growing up, we got spanked period.  I think they had a spanking committee back then that met and came to an agreement.  The agreement was that if we catch your child acting up, we have the right, no it is our DUTY to spank your child!  Back then their beliefs were that it took a community to raise a child.  So, if Ms. Mandy caught me acting up in the neighborhood, she would spank me.  Then she would call my mother to tell her she spanked me and 9 times out of 10 I would get another spanking when I got home.  Where was Child Protective Services back then? Lol.  Our parents had a motto, that stated that, "WHERE EVER YOU SHOW OUT, THAT'S WHERE YOU GET WORE OUT".  I know a lot of you remember that line! 

When I became older and had sons of my own, I pretty much raised my sons the same way. I believed that spanking was a form of discipline that kept them in line.  I would talk more with them, than my parents did with us but if talking wasn't working, I would spank them.  I believed the problem with a lot of the so-called bad kids was that their parents didn't spank them.  I would shake my head in disgust when I would see a child acting up in the supermarket.  These children would scream at their parents, saying that they hate them and then if they didn't get what they wanted they would continue to act out.  My thoughts were always, "when is the spanking coming?"!  As kids, we didn't embarrass our parents, our parents embarrassed us!

A Change of Heart

A lightning bolt struck in Pensacola, FL on October 31, 2011, that changed my whole way of thinking!  Enter Miss Hayden Redditt, my first daughter, into the world. Suddenly, with my daughter, everything that I thought I believed, has changed.  I remember sitting down with my wife and telling her that, I WOULD NOT be spanking our daughter.  I told her I don't think that a father should spank his daughter because if they do spank them, she will grow up thinking it's ok for men to hit her.  So, if my daughter has to get a spanking, my wife would be the one doing the spanking.  My wife looked at me like I had grown a second head.  She knew I just didn't want to ever have to spank our daughter and that would leave Mommy as the bad guy.  My planned worked until she was a little over a year old and she tried to stick a pencil in the electrical outlet, without thinking I spanked her and told her, "No No, you don't do that!".  That was the first and last time I ever spanked my daughter!  I felt so bad!  I think I cried harder than she did.  To make matters worse, anytime she was acting out and I would threaten to spank her, she would begin to spank herself repeatedly, which made me feel even worse.  Neither my wife or I like to spank, so Hayden began to receive time-outs for acting out.  Time-outs seemed to work for the first 2 years or should I say, until she turned 2.  Then, for a lack of a better term, all Hell broke loose.  Time-outs were becoming pointless.  She would let herself out of time-out, when SHE felt like it.  We asked her to do stuff and her response was inherently, "I don't want to!"  Now, if I had ever told my parents that I didn't want to do something that they asked of me, I probably wouldn't be here writing this blog right now!  My wife and I are really at our wits end.  We have read countless books on how to discipline, without spanking.  I have talked to my friends and all of them say the same thing, I don't spank my daughter, I let my wife do that.  But, what do you do when your spouse feels the same way you do?  I even talked to my Mom about this and her response was no you can't spank her.  WAIT, WHAT?!?  Did THAT just come out of the mouth of the former Spanking Heavyweight Champion of the World?  My wife told me the other day that our daughter has gotten a lot worse when she is out in public.  I hadn't been anywhere with them in a while because of my knee.  Yesterday, I saw this first hand, for the first time, when I told her that she couldn't get a toy.  I tried explaining to her that she just received so many toys for her birthday and that she hasn't played with all of those toys yet.  She was having none of it.  She started crying and screaming in the store, "but! I want it Daddy, I need it!".  The more I told her no, the louder she became.  I was so embarrassed.  I had become that parent at the supermarket with the out of control child.  People were looking at us like control your child!  I swear I saw a guy shaking his head in disbelief.  I was so embarrassed, that I left everything in the basket and walked out of the store, even leaving my Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee, that I found at a great discount.  That really upset me lol.  I also left the clothes that my daughter had picked out.  She was really upset and begged me to go back and get them.  I explained to her, that I would not be going back and that she would not be getting new clothes today because of her behavior.  I told my wife that I had no idea it had gotten this bad.  The question is, what are we gonna do about it?  My wife said that she thinks part of the problem is, that I never tell her "no" and that if she wants something, I buy it every time.  Whereas, she tells her "no" or "not now", or suggests waiting for her birthday or Christmas.  We both don't believe in spanking, but time-outs don't work.  Nothing is working at this point.  What do we do?  All advice is welcome.  We know we have to get this under control and fast or it's gonna really be a serious issue as she gets older.  So, do we just put our foot down and spank her like my parents did?  I think I turned out okay.  Or do we continue try to find alternative ways to discipline her without spanking?  We need HELP. 

My three October babies

Posted by ~ Sheldon Redditt on 10/21/2014

October is the most special month for me. I love to see it come and I love to see it go. It's the time of year when my bank account drops to it's lowest point of the year. You see all three of my biological children were born in October.  As I'm writing this I just realized that they all came in order; Ryan, my oldest came on October 11th, Amari, on the 22nd and Hayden on the 31st, my Halloween baby.

I look at all three of them and I am amazed at how all three of them have my personality but at different stages of my life. I will start with my first born, Ryan. Ryan turned 24 on the 11th of this month. Ryan is my most laid back child.  He's very smart and a thinker. He is the quiet one and doesn't talk much, unless he has something to say. When we talk on the phone, I feel like I'm talking to a mature 40 year old. He is very driven and doesn't let much get to him. I tell him all the time he represents me at my current stage in life.  At 43, I look at him and wish that I had it together like he does at 24.

Amari, my second born, will turn 12 tomorrow, the 22nd.  Amari looks the most like me. Now Amari, is the total opposite of Ryan.  Amari represents me from age 5 to around 36.  He is very confident and a little arrogant ok a lot arrogant.  Amari is very smart and he knows it.  He is a straight A student and his attitude is, "there isn't anything I can't do".  Amari loves the finer things in life and has no problem asking me for them, but is willing to work for them.  He doesn't bother anyone but if you bother him you have a problem on your hands.  He has a love for travel and tells me all the time how rich he is going to be.  I have no doubt that if he decided he wanted to be the President of the United States that he could. I love Amari's drive. Some people think he is my favorite, but I don't have a favorite I love all three the same.  He is the middle child, like me and I think the middle child feels they have to fight to be seen and heard.  I can't say enough about him.  He is a special kid and you see it the first time you meet him. 

Hayden, my only girl, the one I waited 40 years to have. Hayden will turn 3 on Halloween, but she acts like she is 20.  Hayden thinks she is the boss and will tell you that she is, without hesitation. Hayden is VERY independent at a young age. She started picking out her clothes at 2 and will have a fit if she can't wear what she picked out lol. She marches to a different beat for sure. She is the loudest of the three.  I don't know where that came from. Well, on second thought I do, from Amy's side lol. I see a lot of me in Hayden already. Hayden won't put up with anyone's mess.  She isn't, nor will she be a push over for sure. She is very caring and loving at a early age and I love that.  She asks me every morning, "Daddy, is your leg ok?"  And then she gently rubs it and says, "Daddy is all better."  So sweet!  Hayden already loves to travel and tells Amy and I all the time that she is ready to go back to the vacation house.  She is very confident and smart and knows it at a early age. Hayden, just like her brothers, will make a powerful impact on the World. Of that, I have no doubt. 

I am so thankful to have three loving and caring children, who all were born in the same month.  I looked up some of the characteristics of people born in October.  They were inner and physical beauty, treats friends importantly, loves to travel and has a love for the art and literature, very opinionated and doesn't care what others think. Yes, this describes my three October babies to a T.  I love all three of them so much and thank God every day for them.